dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
