you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
