I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
