oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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