I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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