It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
