So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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