Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
