you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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