i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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