do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
