I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
