Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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