My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
