More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
