you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
