Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
