Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
