Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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