Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I have post one night stand depression
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