You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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