did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
