Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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