I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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