porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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