What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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