I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
