i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I can't put those talents on a resume
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
