There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
