mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
