just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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