you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
