watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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