Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
