yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Rumble strips road head = magical
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
