i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
