Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
