I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
