I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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