i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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