Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
