just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
