yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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