My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
