Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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