This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
