I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
