im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
