You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
