no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
