Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
