Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
