I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
