Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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