Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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