i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
