Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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