turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
