I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
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