I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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