he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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