At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
