I swear she didn't look like that last week.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
