Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize