Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm always down for nudity.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
