just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
