Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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